52 to Fabulous....Week 1 What A Girl Wants

a long title but I wanted to make sure I got it all in. I love the idea of weekly challenges to help me realize my new years resolution of self improvement.

here is main link if anyone wants to check it out

http://52tofabulous.com/

Week 1  theme is what a girl wants...girl being ME....Knowing what I want is essential to improving myself....after all how can I improve if I do not know what I want to be.

Here is the schedule of Categories for the year by month

January – Fabulous Beginnings
February – Fabulous Organization
March – Fabulous Fitness
April – Fabulous Food
May – Fabulous Style
June – Fabulous Fun
July – Fabulous Hobbies
August – Fabulous Finances
September – Fabulous Family
October – Fabulous Health
November – Fabulous Home
December – Fabulous Blogging

I wanna improve so much in each one of these categories but I am going to focus on the top two or three things I want right now.

1. Fabulous Family.....the last couple years have been very traumatic for me....the sister of my heart was murdered, my grandmother whom I was extremely close to passed away...and my son was born with cerebral palsy. I have allowed these and other things to keep me from being the mom I want to be....2010 is time to change that. I want to do things with my kids....I want to enjoy time spent with them. I am making a commitment to that this year.
2. Fabulous Home & Fab Organization...these two go hand in hand. I have to seriously declutter and get my house organized. Fly lady never worked for me. I am gonna have to get something that does however.

Azraelle's Bon Voyage Party

The party is over and done with! Thanks goodness. It was so much work getting everything together...but it turned out beautiful. A few minor upsets....guest of honor was over an hour and half late. The pastor and his wife came and he wanted to bless her and the event and she was still getting dressed across town. The wind kept blowing at the decorations but they still looked gorgeous. I was a wee bit upset when I found that instead saying Grambling Bound.....the cake said Gambling bound and was decorated with playing cards and coins.....A lot of people who were supposed to come...did not...oh well. We had plenty of food...good music...and she had a great time. And my second eldest, Dee said she DEFINITELY does not want a party. She would rather have a gift. Here are a few pictures...more on flickr

Poor neglected blog

I havent blogged in forever….many days I say I gotta do it today and time just gets away from me. My eldest dd is graduating this year. She turned 18 in  February and each month gets closer to her leaving the nest. May 2 she went to her senior prom.

This is her and her date (and best friend) Lamar. They looked so gorgeous. Its a bittersweet feeling to see her growing older…what happened to my baby….

She always did look gorgeous in pink!

With all of that going on and my grandma passing away, I haven’t really been in mood to design. No creative spark at all. So I think I am just going to concentrate on forum participation at the sites I sell at and scrapping some of these  gazillion pictures I have. Now if I could just stay off of FB

Happy 2009

I saw midnite with my family as usual. We drank our sparkling cider and talked for a while longer. Talked about what our plans for this year might include. The Diva who is 17 and in her senior year of high school is chomping at bit to get out of Dodge. She is headed to Grambling in the fall. I look forward to it in a bittersweet way..hard to believe my lil baby is just about growed up..sniff sniff…but other times I am ready to strangle her!

I also did my daily mugshot. Here is today…check back  for daily update 

My daily mugshot is here

Daily Mugshot

 

I also started a frugal crafters yahoo groups…sometimes my craft hobbies can get expensive and I gotta work on that. The group is in its infancy but if you are frugal and crafty…feel free to join me…it will include picture shares, techniques, and of course chit chat.

FrugalCrafters

Hope we win

Hp Stop Drop & Spread Holiday Magic

This package would mean that my family of technofiles could have a new pc for once. Every machine we have had has been cobbled together from bits and pieces of machines someone has donated. Nine children with six being school age means lots of term papers, research, college applications & essays that need to be done. The two laptops would go to my teens, one who is a graduating senior and off to college next year. The other attends high school and college simultaneously. Having their own pc’s would mean not having to stay up nights writing papers. Our family size often prevents my husband and I from giving the children all of the things they would like for Christmas or birthdays but this would definitely change that!

Many people have no idea what its like in a family as large as mine. The amount of sharing that we have to do for just basic stuff. And we do it graciously most of the time. One of the lessons I try hardest to instill is that we are all one unit and if one fails or falls, we all do. I think I do a decent job so far. I can’t imagine the joy on faces of my eldest two daughters to be able to have laptops of their own (and top notch ones not refurbished ones from geeks.com). To be able to play online without having to get up when the buzzer goes off (sometimes we have to do that). School work is important so there is always time for that but sometimes time to do fun stuff just isn't feasible.

Testing Testing….

Testing a new service…I downloaded the new Windows Live Writer Beta. You can use to post your blogs from your desktop! I really like the format. Lots of time I do not want to open my browser while designing cause I get sidetracked. I will say I am only looking at one thing and next thing ya know I haven't designed a thing and got 20 tabs open in Firefox. I can see this will be a staple in my day! I didn’t realize that I also have the labels!!!! I am loving this!

National Pursuit of Happyness Week

Some one sent me this lovely website to energize my blog...it has a 14 month calender to help when you don't know what to blog about. I have to admit that I am often blog entry challenged...I average about three - five posts a month. And this calender is supposed to help. The first entry for this week is that its National Pursuit of Happiness week. This couldn't have come at a better time. Its past time I pursued my happiness. I have been unhappy for some time in my life and its time I put me first. I know people always say that you have to put yourself first in order to be a good mom etc. But I have been so bad about following that advice.But no more.
And my first step is a doozy. I asked my husband for a divorce. I have been telling him that I am unhappy. I have tried to get him to go to counseling, to talk to our church minister...but of course he wouldnt. He doesn't see anything wrong..he gets all he wants out the marriage. He has someone to take care of him. He doesn't feel need to work, help out with kids, help out around house, help with our disabled sons therapy. He can watch cable tv and hang out with his buddies. Generally act like he is 19 years old. His reply when I told him I wanted a divorce was fine..do what you want. Please pray for me and my family. This is going to be a time of great upheaval.

Love Is....

I have lost three close family members to domestic violence. My aunt was murdered when I was 10 by her husband of one month. He stabbed her 28 times no one even knows what the dispute was about. She left a six year old son. My cousin who was like my older sister was murdered when she was 23 year old and I was 20. Three hours before her son's father shot her, my mom and I were at her house and were upset at the huge bruise on her arm. She smiled at us and said he SAID he was sorry.....she left two little girls and a 3 month old son. Two years ago another cousin of mines naked body was left in a wooded area, she was last seen arguing with her off and on long time boyfriend, there has been a couple of arrests but prosecutor seems to have little interest in taking this court to trial. She left two preteen daughters. All of these crimes were committed by men who purported to LOVE them. I always go back to (IMO) the authority on Love, who said:
Love is patient, love is kind and is not jealous; love does not brag and is not arrogant (1 Cor. 13:4)...where in there does that leave room for abuse? where does it leave room for murdering the very one you claim to love? My heart goes out to Jennifer Hudson & her family. I am crying the same never ending tears. In one second, some idiot demolished your life as you knew it. And nothing can ever change it back. As time goes on, you build it into something new...something different. Something not quite as good as it was...after all those loved ones are no longer there with you. It never hurts any less...it's just not as close to the surface. But something will remind of that person and even now almost two decades later, the pain of my cousins passing can overwhelm me. I wish I could tell every woman who is with an abusive mate, not to allow him to do to her family what has been done to mine. I wish I could show them all the years of pain and tears that has been inflicted on children who are missing bright smiles and warm hugs of their murdered mothers. I wish I could tell all those abusers, hey we love her too, she doesn't BELONG to you. But I can't. I can only continue to pray for those whose pain I know all too well.

Mercury Retrograde...

I admit i check my horoscope from time to time. I am not fanatical about but when I do I ALWAYS go to Susan Miller's Astrology Zone. She is usually has things that are so exact it is eerie. well this months forecast for me starts out like this,

"After a fairly stressful September, you are looking forward to October, and rightly so. Mercury, your ruler, will still be retrograde for the first three weeks of October. This time you may welcome the slower pace that Mercury retrograde brings. With two eclipses in August and a very difficult full moon in mid-September, you've been dealing with a lot of news and shifting situations." Ok cue the spooky music! Lady get outta my life and head...stressful September was an understatement..

here is another gem..."At work, if you are in the creative department, this month you'll find it easy to come up with ideas but a little harder to execute them properly."
Guess thats why my idea book is full but my upload queue is almost empty...execution seems to beyond my grasp right now....

but now that the retrograde has passed (Oct 20) i should be able to get back in the swing of things....right????

Work in Progress & freebie

thats how I feel. My life has been so hectic...my eldest is graduating this year. She has decided on a college (go Grambling Tigers) but still has ACT to take, she made captain of the cheerleading squad and nominated to Homecoming Court...all of this means her extracurricular load is crazy...practice for this, practice for that, community appearances...whooo...busy busy busy. Here is Pixie in her uniform pic

my youngest son is seeing a new pediatric neurologist because the two previous ones moved out of the area. She is GREAT! i was really unhappy with the last one he had. He was good with my son but I just found him somewhat standoffish. My son will also be seeing a physiatrist...I had never heard of it either...its a rehabilitation doctor. Rehabilitation physicians are nerve, muscle, and bone experts who treat injuries or illnesses that affect how you move. Jorrell's official diagnosis is hemplegic cerebral palsy (resulting from stroke he suffered in utero) which means this doctor will use his expertise to oversee the physical & occupational therapy. Even with him getting it at school & outpatient once a week, we are noticing increased tone or difficulty with him doing the range of motion exercises. It makes me sad to see how he has to use his left arm turn his right arm in supine position.

But he is a real trooper and so sweet! The brace on his arm is to help with finger extension!
Those are just a few of the things that are keeping me busy. i also seem to have lost my mojo...i am working on a set of paper preview templates. A friend asked me to make her some so I obliged. This one supports 8 papers so here is a sample download here.
i am also working on my first tagger kit..I am part of the yahoo group Truly Inspired and next couple weeks, there will be a blog train based on this story SHIMILY (be sure to have your tissues ready). Stay tuned to for more info on that.

Missing my family

On May 1st the Reverend Dr. Sylvester Armour, after 80 years the last six in a paralytic state, passed from this life. Now that may not mean much to you but he was my Grandad and even though I had made peace ~or so I thought~ with his going, it knocked me for a loop. I could remember all the fun times when he took me and all the other grands to Geauga Lake. I remeber the rides on his home made motorcycle {it was the back of a VW Bug and the front wheel of a chopper}. It had five places for one of each of the grands to sit! I remember him giving us a weekly "allowance" just because. It makes me sad that my kids wont get to know that Grandaddy. They only know the sick man in the nursing home who they could hardly understand. I remember and thats the Grandad that I wasnt ready to let go. But I prayed for his soul and I prayed for ease of my grief. Granddaddy, I love and miss you....and I always will.

Some days I do ok. I go through the day caught up in the myriad details of caring for my family, house...life in general. And then some thing brings you to mind, an old school song, a place we used to go, something we used to do, and its like the last two and a half years have not gone by. I miss you JUST AS MUCH as the day I found out you had been taken from us. My heart is just as heavy as the day I stood over your coffin and begged God to give you back to us. My eyes are just as full of tears as the day I watched them lower the coffin in the cold November earth. Thanksgiving 2005 just wasnt the same and will NEVER EVER BE. I miss and love you Tahnee, sister of my heart, and I always will.

Tue 3/25 Blog Prompt

DSP Prompt
various family shots and journaling about the pictures

All of these pictures are from my relatives in Cincinnati. Its been almost a year since I have seen them and boy do I miss them....but pictures do help some...
These are my lil cousins....their mom was murdered two years ago and it hurts me to see how grown up they are getting and how much I miss their mom. They both for different reasons remind me of her when we were growing up together.

These are two more of my lil cousins. Their mom took a 14 year break between children. We all thought that her daughter Bree would be the only child....and up pops lil Tyrin! He is an adorable sweet baby who looks just like his mommy and big sister when they were babies.

here is my lil cousin Quan...he was first great grandson born ...after 4 girls....so he was QUITE spoiled. I can't believe he is old enough for his voice to change!!

These three are the youngest of the cousins....Shayla, Shiya and DJ. Their daddy is my cousin and is 8 years younger than me. I can hardly believe he is the father of three!!! The youngest Shayla shares the same middle name Ylonne as my youngest daughter Zaniyah. They were both named for his sister Tahnee Ylonne Jackson. RIP dearest cousin and sister of my heart. Believe me when I say that you are loved and missed greatly.

Never would Have Made It

I have been going through a hard time this week. I had to quit my job. I found out that three of the guys who started after me who have less experience AND less education got raises and I did not. I know that I did a better job than all three of them AND have better customer service skills. I felt very devalued for a while. I had to pray about it and finally just leave the company. I am stepping out on faith that the opportunity that is meant for me is right around the corner~ Any way during this difficult time, a good friend sent me this link and I just could not stop watching it. It is such a powerful performance and the song is one of my favorite gospel songs!

Marvin Sapp Never Would Have Made It



wooooh

here are excerpt from lyrics
I would have lost it all,
But I now I see how you were there for me and I can say
I'm stronger, I'm wiser, I'm better,
much better,

When I look back over all you brought me thru.
I can see that you were the one that I held on to
And I never
Chorus Never would have made it

I hope that sharing this will brighten someone's day like it did mine.

Happy Happy Joy Joy

I got a NEW pc...well its refurbished but its new to me and has tons of bells and whistles...3gb of ram...300 gb hard drive, front card reader (I so missed that on my old desktop) and more usb ports than even I with my 30zillion flash drives, external hard drives, and other misc usb devices can fill up. It has Vista Premium and it doesnt SEEM to bad so far...although having to give every program permission to run is irksome.
I also got a 19inch HP LCD monitor...its so swwwwwwwwwwwwwwweeeet! The screen swivels and raises and lowers and the best best part of this I got ALL for less than 600 bucks!
Is that a DEAL or what!!!

I think my creating will take a big jump!

Still feeling blah

I feel so stagnated. I know a lot of it has to do with missing family members who have passed away as well as those who have moved away. I can remember Christmas Holidays from long ago with the grandkids (me included) and my cousins from out of town came. We would play Monopoly with my aunts & uncles (My Uncle Rick always cheated) while Grandma cooked the best sweet potato pie (and I got my OWN pie)....My dad would be singing off key while we all laughed at him.

Twenty or more years later, those days are gone. My Aunts Tammy & Cristy as well as my cousin Tahnee have gone on to heaven. And they live in on my heart. My grandma has cataracts so bad she hasnt baked in years. And she lives all way in Cincinnati. I haven't seen her in two years almost.

My heart is heavy and eyes are full of tears

I had followed this story praying desperately that Latasha would be found unharmed and returned to her family. Well that was not to be. I know the deep hurt that her family is going through as it has only been two years since my 29 year old cousin was found murdered in a wooded area. No one who has not experienced a tragedy of this magnitude can understand how this devastating this is.

Why do men feel they OWN women. Not just in this case or in my cousin's (her ex is a person of interest) but Scott Peterson, OJ Simpson (he got off on a technicality) , Drew Peterson, Rae Carruth, all murdered women they SUPPOSEDLY loved. Where do they get the idea that its is ok for them to murder these women. That these women are not entitled to breath air? What gives the the RIGHT to take away these mothers, daughters, sister, cousins, friends out of their family member's lives? Domestic violence makes me SO angry. I don't understand how you say you love someone and then hurt them in the worse way possible.

Please pray not only for her family but for me and mine.

Ex-boyfriend charged in JSU student’s killing

The Clarion-Ledger

Brian Albert Broom/The Clarion-Ledger Jackson Police investigate the scene on Brown Street where a body has been discovered.

The ex-boyfriend of a JSU student missing since Nov. 13 has been charged with killing her, officials say.

Stanley Cole, 24, is suspected in the slaying of Latasha Norman.

A body found this afternoon off Brown Street in north Jackson is that of Norman, Jackson Police Department spokesman Sgt. Jeffery Scott confirmed late today.

The remains were found around 2 p.m. in a wooded area on Brown Street near County Line Road.

Cole, a criminal justice major at JSU, was in a Pearl court early Thursday for a hearing into charges he struck Norman Oct. 9 at a restaurant in Pearl. He was later taken into custody for further questioning in Norman’s disappearance.

Cole, whom Scott had termed “a person of Interest” a few hours earlier, was formally charged with murder after Norman’s body was found.

Cole apparently led police to the body.

The university, which spearheaded vigils and other events to keep Norman’s disappearance in the news, has cancelled classes Friday in her honor.

“I want to extend my deepest and most profound sympathy to the Norman/Bolden family, Latasha’s friends and others who loved her,” JSU President Ronald Mason Jr. said. “There are simply no words that can take away the anguish felt in the face of such a heinous and senseless act.”

The Jackson State Department of Public Safety has been investigating Norman’s disappearance along with the FBI, Hinds County Sheriff’s Department and the Jackson Police Department.

“We all worked around the clock, hoping that we could bring Latasha back safely,” said Chief Rebecca Coleman, director of the Jackson State Department of Public Safety. “Now, our efforts must shift to seeking justice. We mourn with Latasha’s family and friends.”

A memorial service in memory of the junior accounting major is set for noon Monday in the Rose Embly McCoy Auditorium on the main campus.

Coroner Sharon Grisham Stewart said more testing would be needed for a positive identification of the body. It was badly decomposed, police said.

An autopsy is planned for tonight.

Norman, an accounting major from Greenville, had been the subject of a nationwide search.

Her story had been featured on CNN. Digital billboards leased by JSU for advertising purposes had for days flashed Norman’s picture and listed law enforcement contact numbers.

Producers of the popular TV show, America’s Most Wanted, were in Jackson on Wednesday, filming a segment on Norman.

Norman, 20, was described as a serious student who kept to herself.

All Sobe'd Out

I think I have come to a crucial point in my life.....Sobe No Fear is no longer working as a pick me up.........WAAAAAAAAAH! What am I going to do on the long B O R I N G nights at work to stay awake. I can not abide the taste of any of the other energy drinks so whats a working mom/wife/student/designer supposed to do????

I am more than halfway through Eldest...its only taken me almost a year to read. Its a great story especially considering how young Christopher Paolini was when he started writing. The only thing that saddens me is that this year I seem to be finishing up all my favorite series with no new books in site. JD Robb's Eve Dallas series, Diana Mott Davidson's Goldy Bear series, Kim Harrison's the Hollows, and now this...what will I do...anyone have any good fantasy series?? Or crime series? Or even a cooking mystery series (I love the recipes in Mott-Davidson's books).

Oh no I've lost my....

mojo!! has anyone seen it? I seem to have no creative spark whatsoever. I open up PSP and NOTHING......I have several swatches to choose from...but I don't feel inspired to create anything. I need to get cracking on my CATW items. As excited as I am to be participating, I cant muster up any playing spirit....maybe I will try scrapping. I have some pictures of my extended family that I would like to scrap and send to them as presents......I hate the winter blahs

I love holiday music and movies but this time of year is also very hard for me. Its been two years since Tahnee was murdered and no justice. I look at her daughters growing into beautiful young women and it breaks my heart that she is not here to see it. Here is an old layout I did of when she first died.

Who I resemble?

http://www.myheritage.com/collage